English / 日本語
There once lived a man who was trying to cut himself a piece of the sky. “You know, I have eaten a cloud before.” (This was his single source of pride.) Now he was thinking he’d like to cut off a piece of the sky, prepare it like a bar of purple youkan bean paste and eat it. So he hurled kitchen knives, scissors, and other blades up at the sky, flinging them up, over and over again. This continued for a year. But the blades kept falling back to earth, and countless cuts now covered his arms and head. He realized, “I’m just not going to be able to slice the sky with cutlery.” With no other options, he went down to Akasaka and bought some high-quality youkan. He spray-painted it blue then ate it.
空を切り取ろうとしてる男がいました。「雲なら食ったことがある」男の唯一自慢出来るのはそれでした。だから今度は空を切取って、それを羊羹みたいにして食べようと思ってたのです。そして空に包丁やハサミやナイフの刃物を投げつけた。何回も何回も投げつけた。一年間続けた。でも自分の投げた刃物が降ってきて、腕や頭に刺さった事数えきれず傷だらけ。男は思った「刃物なんかで空は切れない」と。仕方が無いので赤坂に高級羊羹を買いに行って、スプレーで青くしてから食べました。
This short story originally appeared as 「空を切り取る」in the book『ただいま、おかえりなさい』 (
Tadaima Okaerinasai).
Inui Akito is a playwright and founder of Tokyo theatre group
Crack Iron Albatrossket.
Tada Reiko is the drummer for the band Kiiiiiii and an accomplished illustrator. Her artwork has graced t-shirts at Tower Records and Beams, the horoscope page of CUTiE, and a whole slew of tour products for popular band The Boom.
W. David Marx (Marxy) — Tokyo-based writer and musician — is the founder and chief editor of Néojaponisme.
Posted in Fiction, The Future 4 Comments »
English / 日本語
I went off to meet this kind of amazing luminary who lives deep within the island. I don’t know what kind of guy he is, but he apparently eats raw meat. But even if he welcomes me in and serves me raw meat, I won’t be able to eat raw meat. So I went off into the island carrying a gas stove on my back.
島の奥に住んでるという、なんだか凄いカリスマに会いに行く事になった
そいつがどんなやつか知らないけれど、生肉を食うらしい
もし、歓迎されて生肉を出されても自分は生肉を食えないから、ガスコンロを背負って島の奥に行った
This short story originally appeared as 「島の奥」in the book『ただいま、おかえりなさい』 (
Tadaima Okaerinasai).
Inui Akito is a playwright and founder of Tokyo theatre group
Crack Iron Albatrossket.
Tada Reiko is the drummer for the band Kiiiiiii and an accomplished illustrator. Her artwork has graced t-shirts at Tower Records and Beams, the horoscope page of CUTiE, and a whole slew of tour products for popular band The Boom.
W. David Marx (Marxy) — Tokyo-based writer and musician — is the founder and chief editor of Néojaponisme.
Posted in Fiction, The Future 2 Comments »
Bzzzzzz….
Wha? Wha?
Oh… An alarm… Time for school. I should get up.
Mr. Apatow musters up the strength to climb out of bed, pinstripe pajamas to match his pinstripe sheets. He sits — in a complete daze, somewhere between dreaming and daydreaming.
”How could they have canceled Undeclared? The series needed time. Am I doomed for a string of one-season shows? I will never ever be a success in this Boardwalk of Broken Dreams called… Hollywood.”
At this point, Mr. Apatow is facing himself in the mirror.
”But at least, Freaks and Geeks will be a cult series. Appreciated postmortem. The kind of series that will inspire fan fiction. Now, what I’m hoping for this fan fiction is that it’s written far enough in the future where all talk of my failures are essentially there for irony’s sake — like when I think out-loud along the lines of ‘I will never be a success in this…’ etc., it will clearly be humorous in light of my hit film projects.”
He continues his soliloquy, “I am hoping this fan fiction gets incredibly meta. Like, it portrays itself as Freaks and Geeks fan fiction at first, but really, it’s just a vehicle for expressing the inner thoughts of ‘Master Creator’ Judd Apatow. I hate this idea that meta humor is somehow a gimmick, like a limerick or something. Meta is a part of the equation now, a part of the fabric. The author’s not dead. The author is typing about the movement about his hands typing. My next movie’s going to be called Hunt and Peck.
”I’ll tell you though. Success is not all roses. The 40-Year-Old Virgin — the soundtrack choices are criminal. First, we rip off that Apollo 100 ‘Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring’ from Boogie Nights. You know it’s going to be a terrible movie when the soundtrack just steals key audio moments from other contemporary movies. Like that stupid camping movie with Seth Green and Dax Shepard. Without a Paddle. The movie starts with The Faces’s ‘Ooh La La,’ which was so amazingly deployed at he conclusion of Wes Anderson’s Rushmore. What next, start a movie with Iggy Pop’s ‘Lust for Life.’ I never want to hear ‘Born Slippy .NUXX’ in another goddamn movie.
”And then that whole ‘Aquarius’ finale. When are people going to figure out that ‘Aquarius’ was not completely unironic. People just don’t get Hair. Maybe I somewhat blame Milos Forman, but jeez. I mean, I made that whole 40-Year-Old Virgin movie, and I still think that ending was just ridiculous. And I’ve had sex before.
”A lot of people ask me why I use Seth Rogen in every movie,” Mr. Apatow says at a mass rally held later in the afternoon. “I don’t know. I just don’t. He’s not my alter ego, but he’s not my superego either. He’s just like, my Jack Nance. Yeah, that’s it: he’s like the modern day Jack Nance.”
At this point, Lindsay Cardellini pipes up, “Wha…” but the Apatow-Narrator cuts her off. He’s not only the writer, but also the script doctor.
”I don’t know much about fan fiction, but I am hoping for a Manoj N. Shyamalan ending where it turns out… it was all just a dream…. written by Judd Apatow.”
W. David Marx (Marxy) — Tokyo-based writer and musician — is the founder and chief editor of Néojaponisme.
Posted in Fiction, Humor, The Future No Comments »
